A Good Old-fashioned To-do List...

Been doing well on my No-procrastination-vember thingy-magig. The house has been really tidy and surface clean all month, so yay me! Anyway, as there are now just under 5 weeks until Christmas, the time has come to start do a bit more a fine toothed comb throughout the house. To this end, I thought I'd do a bit of to-do list a get a couple of things done today (Sundays are always dedicated shopping and attempting to relax days)...

So, today I want to achieve the following.

1. Clear out and wipe down the glass cabinet in the kitchen
2. Clear out under and behind the couch and behind Bryn's bookcase
3. Get the gunk of the corner of the sink in the laundry (that'll be Dave's job as he put the gunk there in the first place)
4. Clear out and tidy my wardrobe, including relocating unused clothing to bed drawers and pitching the old Christmas lollies from last year that are attracting ants, eep!)
5. Get Dave to surface tidy the study so it doesn't look so much like a dumping ground
6. Give the bathroom cabinets a once through to pitch crap that has been sitting there unused for the past year

Ok, if we get all of that done, I'll say it's been a very productive day. It's not even 7am yet, so I reckon we have a good chance of getting it all done :).

Head scarves should be required clothing at all child centred institutions!

I'm upset. Very upset! This morning I've had to shave Luey and Bryn's heads, and this afternoon I may have to shave Erik's. Why? Well, because of head lice. Now, some of you may feel I'm over-reacting, but in all honesty, I'm not. We had our first case of headlice almost as soon as Erik and Luey started school. They'd never been in childcare, or to kinder, and somehow in the playgroups they'd attended (sometimes weekly, sometime less often) they never did catch headlice.

For 18 months after they first contracted headlice, we had a continous battle with the little critters. We tried EVERYTHING on the market, and every natural solution we could find until eventually our only recourse was to shave the boys heads.

That's when we first heard a phrase that has since come to irk me so much I want to scream every time I hear it...

"Well, luckily you have boys, because if you had girls you couldn't shave their heads.

Really, why not?

The truth is, I also caught headlice when the boys caught it, and with my long, curly (at the time) hair, it was bloody impossibly to get rid of them. It turned out I was quite intolerant to whatever the de-coagulant they inject into human skin to draw blood, and soon I developed a horrible rash on my nape which progressed to my back and shoulders. Finally, the only thing I could do was shave my head. I used that opportunity to raise money for Cancer, but basically that wasn't my motivation - the motivation was to finally rid ourselves of the lice scurge.

Since then, the MOMENT one of our boys has lice, their head is shaved.

Shaving their heads SUCKS!!! Sure they're boys, but they have BEAUTIFUL hair, all of them, it's so naturally straight and shiny and the colour is just gorgeous (golden red for Luey, and chestnut for Erik and Bryn). As well as this, Erik is currently working hard at growing his hair out. He's so pleased with his longer hair. If he has lice now, he'll be devastated, and so will I.

Why should girls not have to have their hair shaved off if the same is expected of boys with persistent head lice? How is that fair. Where are the raging feminists and their undying sense of equality when it comes to shaving their daughters heads? I ask you!

But, you know, shaving hair off wouldn't even be necessary - very much - if it was made compulsory that children with longer hair and the people who work with them had to wear head scarves to cover their hair and prevent the spread of these blighters. In fact, I don't understand that people who work with children wouldn't just do it of their own initiative to avoid catching lice in the first place!

Back in the "olden days" women and girls used to wear caps and bonnets, and men and boys wore caps and hats - maybe they were onto something!

We rely far too heavily on chemicals and look what's happened, the lice have become resistent to the chemicals and we're back to using conditioner and a comb - whch might work well for some, but for the rest of us, it's pretty bloody ineffective!

I bet muslim women don't have too many lice!

A good friend of mine has gone up against her school by putting a head scarf (just a little triangle one that covers the root of her daughter's hair (which is then also plaited and sprayed with hairspray as an extra barrier against lice, I believe) in the school colours). Why can't all schools adopt this?

Why should I constantly have to sacrefice my sons' lovely hair when mothers of girls aren't expected to do the same???

What Ari has taught me about himself just recently...

The child finds it much easier to take a firm, "No!" over me trying to figure out what the hell he wants.

It's been a bit of a gradual lesson. Started a few weeks ago when he started on that same little thing the others had done around this age where he wouldn't just feed then pop back off to sleep, oh no, he wanted to graze... And GRAZE is just about the right word for it, too. I certainly was feeling very "grazed". So, despite him being just around the age of one (he was a little before one when this started), I took to telling him, "No more, sorry, that's all there is, shhhh shhh, time for sleep..." Well, I really wasn't expecting it to take, I was just feeling desperately tired and hoping even 10 minutes of dozing might help me cope a bit better.

Lo and behold, he grumbled, turned over and went to sleep.

So, I've been doing it ever since. He feeds through the night, but not at all continuously. He's on for about 10 minutes or so, then I say that's it, no more for now, and he goes to sleep.

Anyway, then this week he's been very tantrum-y. Not something I'm used to in a child this age. I think it is partly a reaction to us going out on Saturday night and leaving him (and the others) with a baby sitter. His first time. "A" (our babysitter) was brilliant. He's a lovely dad! He just walked Ari around in the front yard, and then in the house until he fell asleep, then he held him until we got home - couldn't have asked for more.

Ari was NOT impressed with us on Sunday though. Full on back arching with blood curdling screams of protest each and every time he felt thwarted. Since then he's been wanting to comfort feed a lot, but also not being content with that, still tantruming and carrying on. I've been letting it ride because I understand he has stuff he wants to express and needs to test and see how much he can rely on us now that we've left him with a virtual (for him) stranger.

Tonight though, after a fair bit of off again, on again feeding with some back arching and carry on, I said to him, "Ok, obviously this isn't doing it for you, and it certainly isn't working for me, so the bar is closed for a bit now." For a minute he persisted with the back arching but then he snuggled in for a cuddle and seemed happier than he'd been in a couple of hours.

I guess he's just trying to tell me he prefers to know what's what and not to have me look to him for the answers. He's a lot like Erik in this way - in fact, he's showing quite a few signs of being similar to Erik, but that's a whole other post...

Transitions...

Life is full of them, isn't it?

Right now, Luey is in the middle of his transition sessions as he moves up from grade two to grade three. Might sound strange to some of you that he needs trans session for moving up a grade, but at the boys school there is a system of multi-age classes (which is different from composite classes in that it is an intentional pedagogy rather than a situational compromise). So the preps, 1st and 2nd graders are grouped together as one class with the same teacher (theoretically, though this hasn't been the case for Luey due his first teacher being a complete tool and him needing to change classes and then his second teacher taking up a position in a new school) for three years. Then they go to "middle primary" for two years, which is 3rd and 4th grades together, and finally "senior primary" which are the 5th and 6th grades together.

So, this month Luey is transitioning to 3rd grade, which means every Wednesday he spends part of the day in one of the 3/4 classes. Erik transitioned to 3/4 last year, so Luey might end up in Erik's classes for one of the sessions, though he won't end up in Erik's class next year as the school mostly keeps siblings in different classes (unless the parents specifically request otherwise.

Last night it dawned on me that next year Erik will be transitioning to 5/6 and starting the final leg of his primary school experience! It seems too soon! He only started school a couple of years ago! Bryn will be starting school the same year Erik transitions to 5/6, so 2011 is set to be a big year!

These kinds of changes always bring about philosophising about how life just continues on, whether we're ready or not. Change happens and we can either adapt or fall apart, freaking out about it all.

Last year, Erik still seemed very much like a small child. Last night Dave and I were discussing how, despite our concerns about his level of maturity, we have little choice but to give him the opportunities to develop his self-esteem through allowing him his independence. Dave worries more about this than I do because Dave was far less impulsive than Erik is at this age. I, on the other hand, was just as impulsive as Erik, if not more so, and yet I had a lot of responsibility and while it would probably have hastened the development of grey hairs on my parents heads had they known the stupid risks I took when left to my own devices, I managed to fumble through some pretty hairy situations without their management.

This is why I have a fair bit of confidence that, allowed his independence, Erik will be ok.

Transitions are scary, whatever age we are, but we're going through them every single day of our lives, and the only way to cope is to embrace them wholeheartedly.

A difficult decison...

Today I'm made a difficult decision on behalf of my family. I've decided this Christmas will be a one gift Christmas for each of us.

It's a difficult decision because I want to be able to do so much more for my kids, but finances won't allow. It's difficult because I know my kids won't like the idea at all because all their friends will receive so much more than one gift. It's a difficult decision because the anguish I'm feeling about making this decision proves how much I and my kids have bought into the idea that more is better and that we are ENTITLED to more than one gift at Christmas.

How did we get this out of control - by we I mean, as a society. Most people spend $100s and $100s at Christmas time in presents and food and whatnot, and we do it because "that's the way it should be". If we DON'T spend lots of money on our kids, we're absolutely depriving them - and that's not only in their opinion, many of us parents believe that in our deepest heart...

Dave and I have decided to get one gift for each child to the value of $100 per gift. Potentially, we could spend $400 on those four gifts alone. That's a lot of money, really. That's not including gifts for D or myself (yet to be seen if those will eventuate) or for our parents and my brother. That also doesn't include the cost of food. What is it all for? Seriously, it is necessary to spend all that money, whatever your religious or secular beliefs?

Despite the fact that when I look at it closely it doesn't seem reasonable to spend all that money for this one day, it feels a bit like I've decided to break the law by not indulging more.

Big Picture Update...

Been neglecting the pictures of late...

These aren't in order of anything much, so I'll just comment on each one...

Daytime napping! We've pretty much stopped napping him in the pram during the day because he can't turn over and gets shitty. He's had a couple of spills off the bed and won't learn to crawl off backwards, but that'll happen with time.

Bought this button under for him last summer, and it fits now, LOL! Size 00, love it! And doesn't the expression fit the text, hehehe!


Life is a serious business!

That tear in his eye was from the tantie he chucked because i wouldn't let him play with my iPhone...

He's popped four teeth in the past month, so there's been a fair bit of finger-in-mouth going on.

LOL, and this would be that "I MUST have your iPhone" tantie I was talking about...

Erik and Luey's school fair last weekend. The school fair is fabulous, btw, I was totally impressed this year. Rides, hair painting, fake tatoos, devonshire tea cafe, live music and performances from various groups, pre-loved clothes, books and CD stalls, snacks galore and a bar (we never partake of the bar)...

Bus stop boys...

Playing with EcoToys toys

Isn't he lovely...

Ari is in love with looking at books and seems to be quite gentle with them the way Erik used to be (not at all like Luey or Bryn, who between them managed to wreck many of our books)...


Luey on the jumping castle at the fair.

Erik on the Cyclone! He's second from the left in the blue tshirt.

Erik on the Cyclone before the ride got started for real.

Erik waiting to get on the Cyclone with a couple of friends.

The other end of the fair. The new part of the school; new building to the left, new sand box (Bryn loves the sandbox and wants to go to school just so he can play in it every day, rofl).

Luey's hair colouring - look at the cranky face (was a 36 degree day!)...

Punk would look good on him, yeah?

Erik's hair colour; he went all Christmassy, LOL, red, green and white...

That's not a shadow falling across his head, it's the white and green paint, interesting effect though.

Bryn and Luey on the jumping castle.

Nekkid boy - he seems to get nekkid whenever he wears this tshirt, LOL!

Awww! Check out the wittle, wittle bum!

Dave carting ice for the sno cone stall he worked on at the fair.

Dave working at the sno cone stall!

Bryn's Ben 10 tattoo (he actually got two, but I don't have a pic of the other one).

Ari in his first set of shorts and tee for the season. Shorts are size 000, tee is size 00, roflmao - yes, it's a "girl's" tshirt, and here's a funny thing, I have the "boy" version of this tee as well (it has a blue collar), in the same size and it's a BIGGER cut with longer sleeves - got figure!

Nearly a family photo - don't know where Luey was when this was taken... Oh LOOK! Dave is actually smiling in this one! He never smiles in photos and I don't understand why not, smiling really suits him! Meanwhile, dontcha love how photos like this show you just how much you've let yourself go??? Next years birthday photo of ME is going to be much nicer, that's my VOW!

Bryn lending a helping hand to Ari...

More book love!

Erik's theory about drawings and why he doesn't like to tear drawings up...

So, the other day I went and picked Erik up from school. Luey was home sick that day, so Erik and I had a good long time to chat about a whole range of things uninterrupted. When you have four children, that is something of a golden opportunity to find out what is really going on inside you individual child's head...

Erik is completely and utterly obsessed with drawing, just like his uncle Mike at this same age. What Erik draws, the style and some of the subject matter, is quite different, but the intensity of his passion, and dare I say it, the competency of his drawing is very reminiscent of my brother and it's something I'm gaining incredible enjoyment from watching develop.

I'm not sure how the conversation came about, but Erik told me that he believes that at night the creations people draw on paper come to life and swirl around the room. Black and white drawings, according to Erik, are kind of transluscent and puffy, while coloured drawing are flat like the paper they're drawing on because when you colour the drawings in, you flatten them.

He went on to say that tearing up a drawing was not a good thing to do because, essentially, you kill the creation and it is not able to become aninated at night and that is why he doesn't tear up drawings, even the ones he doesn't want anymore.

I'm assuming from this it's ok to screw the paper up and bin it, just not tear it up!

I love his mind!

The fear of being ordinary...

Sometimes I think I'm compelled to make choices that promise to launch me out of the realm of ordinary.

I'm not ordinary (if there even is such a thing, I mean ordinary is pretty closely related to the concept of "normal" and it's widely accepted that there really is no such thing as "normal" - to the extent that the word "normal" is almost never written or said without the accompaniment of double quotes). I have a less that ordinary brain for one thing, but let's not go there because it usually leads to, "Well, we already knew THAT..." smirk encrusted comments.

I haven't led much of an ordinary life either - not according to most people I talk to.

I've had three legal names, for one thing.

My parenting choices are not ordinary either, but this is where I begin to think that I've made a lot of choices in my life with, at least, an underlying motive of "not being ordinary".

So, what's so wrong with ordinary?

Well, it's boring, right? It's been done to death and is so 1978, or something like that...

Ordinary doesn't make a very good defense mechanism either. You can't shut people out if you're just like them, now can you. They identify too much with you then, and you can't pretend you have nothing in common with them and that they just don't "get it"...

And there's another point... Ordinary suggests mainstream, which seems to be equated with the lowest common denominator. The lowest common denominator has never been anything much to write home about. It's low brow. Based. Unintelligent. Who wants to be viewed as unintelligent? Certainly not me! I have an IQ of 135 and I want to the world to know about it - coz then maybe I'll get some respect...

Hmmmm, so maybe now we're getting to the core of things...

When you're not ordinary. When you're EDGE. When you go against the mainstream, a lot of people seem to think you're brave - mad, but brave. I mean, it takes a lot of spunk to go against the mainstream, to stay true to your path when everyone around you is talking you down. People try to scare you into being ordinary like them, mediocre, low-brow, gray people who don't stand out from the crowd, don't distinguish themselves, are ordinary.

No, it's better to be EXTRAordinary because that must mean you're strong, smart, an INDIVIDUAL (just like all the other individuals)...